Two

10.18.2016

Two years old is so crazy. The lack of a fully developed brain makes them completely irrational and also capable of hilarious magic thoughts to share. In the moment it makes me completely forget that I was just telling her for the hundredth time that she can't eat handfuls of butter or rub diaper ointment on her infant brother's face.

The other day we were in the car and started talking about pumpkins. I was trying to explain to Elsa what a jack-o-lantern was - I was telling her how fun it is to carve them and put candles inside. In my explaining I realized I wasn't sure why we do it, but neither of us seemed to mind. She quickly moved on to once again demanding requesting Hakuna Matata for the eight thousandth time and I felt myself slow down to try and remember it. It was one of those moments I felt in awe of what a privilege it is to be the one that gets to walk alongside her as she discovers the world for the first time.



I've been trying to keep track of and savor as much of this time - everyone only seems to mention how quickly it passes, so I'm trying to believe them every day and enjoy it in the midst of the craziness and messes. I've been writing things down as much as I can, and wanted to share a few of the toddler highlight reel.


A few of my recent favorites:



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"Elsa what time is it?"
"It's TIME THIRTY!"

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"HERE COMES ME!"

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elligator: elevator
hotch-hog: hedgehog
bogetti: spaghetti

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We call Amos "chonka monk," and Elsa translates this as us calling him "chocolate milk"

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Pointing to a mole on my neck:

Elsa: Oh, a nipple!
Fran: Um, NO...that is a mole
Elsa: Mama has a MOLE NIPPLE!

(Be right back...going to schedule a dermatologist appointment)

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"Oh no! My buddy is crying!" - whenever Amos cries

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Fran: Nana was a teacher, did you know that?
Elsa: Mmm...yeah
Fran: What do you think she taught?
Elsa: Hippos
Fran: Hippos?
Elsa: Yep. Called Boo Boo Butt.

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Things she yells from her crib when we "tucked her in" an hour ago:

  • "AMOS THE MILK IS ALL GONE"
  • "I WANT CHICKEN POT PIE"
  • "PLEASE MR. PANDA CAN I HAVE A DONUT" (<--requires some context but still very funny)
  • "HEY, I POOPED. HEY! I POOPED"
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While deplaning our flight from CVG to DEN,  Elsa saw someone with a Bengals shirt on and yelled 
"GO BENGALS!" to every passenger as they walked by

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One morning we were busy getting ready to go somewhere and I saw Elsa sat down on the floor next to Amos' swing where he was sleeping. She didn't know we were watching her as she pulled a book from the shelf and opened it to "read" to her brother:

"Once upon a time was Jesus. Amen."

(Clearly our work here is done)

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We taught her how to "cheers" with your drink. She now believes that you can smash any two things together and say cheers about it. Today at the grocery store, I let her walk around and shop with her own mini cart and I tried to walk quickly to save my ankles. She ran as fast as she could to catch up and then rammed her cart into mine and yelled "CHEEEERS!"

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And finally:

I let her watch PBS kids so I could get dinner ready and ensure she wouldn't try to burn the house down from another room. When Bryan came home, he went to greet her and then immediately called to me...

Bryan: Uhh...why is she watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop?
Fran: What in the world? I don't know...maybe she figured out how to turn on Netflix?

I checked my email later and found this:


Nope, she PURCHASED PAUL BLART: MALL COP. And not just Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but THE SEQUEL. 

I would like to take this time to thank Mukul with Amazon Customer Service Live Chat for understanding my situation and refunding me the $13 my toddler paid for what I'm guessing is one of the worst movies ever. Clearly our biggest problem here is her poor taste in film ;)