Hey Baby, Hey Baby, Hey

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I had a lot of baby dolls when I was little. I LOVED Baby All Gone, until like many children before me, I discovered that I wasn't actually replenishing her spoon with cherries or peas from the jar but that the food was built into the spoon (RUDE). I never had Baby Alive (the one that peed) or a Water Baby (the one that you open the plug on its back and fill it with water so it feels like a real human?) but I had Kitty Surprise, and that was all I truly cared about.
When life was about evening gowns, and I was
morally against brushing my hair?
Playing with baby dolls was always very fun, but I don't have particularly vivid memories of pining for motherhood. When I thought of growing up one day, that usually meant growing boobs. Boobs would mean I had accomplished everything necessary in becoming a woman. Praise God, somewhere in there I found I had more meaningful life aspirations and I stopped putting on eyeshadow as lipstick. 

I've always known I wanted to have babies, even though they mostly terrified me. One time a friend of mine said I wasn't overtly maternal. It felt like such an offensive declaration, but really, it was true. I've never really been one to clamor to hold a newborn (because the pass off is horrifying because WHAT IF I DROP IT). I can't really ever tell which parent tiny babies look like, they usually just look like Benjamin Buttons to me at first. I don't really know what to say to babies until they can communicate with me. I just knew that I could do it, though. I had no idea how, but it was something I never felt doubtful about.

On the day before our first anniversary, I felt crazy and sure that I was pregnant. We were going to stay at an awesome hotel for the weekend, and when I should have been packing, I triumphantly brandished a stick that confirmed my suspicion. My eyes filled up with a frenzy of tears and Bryan didn't believe me at first. We cried, kind of panicked for a minute, and then laid on our bed and stared at the ceiling and were quiet and lost in thoughts. 

That night at the hotel we celebrated with an expensive feast free of booze, but full of steak and water and desserts we couldn't pronounce. 

The tiny human that will one day have a favorite movie, dislike certain condiments, and tell stories to make people laugh will make his or her debut in May. 

Unfortunately, I will not be posting photos of me holding fruits or vegetables comparable in size to our growing fetus. Mostly because I have no idea what I will look like at the end of this gestational season, and thanks to my natural Carebear shape, I've looked about three months pregnant on any given day of my life prior to this blessing.

I can't wait to tell you about the gross things I've craved and my otherworldly fear of vomiting. 

I promise to teach this baby about the importance of Whitney Houston, and I'll try to explain why I once played with a stuffed cat with a velcro stomach I eagerly tore open to find kittens in. 


  1. Many congratulations to you and wishing you a healthy pregnancy!

    (I was once told I wasn't overly maternal either... it sort of offended me but sort of didn't because, like you, I felt it was kinda true. I don't think being baby crazy is what makes a parent.)

  2. I have been waiting for this post for so long. Just teach your baby how to be awesome like you and you've got this.

    I am so happy for you and so excited to see the little baby. I'm grateful for the Internet.

  3. May God give me the same words to use when I become with child. So hilarious. So awesome. YEAAAAAH BABY!!

  4. It's so exciting! You're going to be such an awesome mom. Thank you in advance for the lack of pictures holding fruit. Those freak me out in a way I can't explain.

  5. Congrats, Fran! What an exciting adventure.

  6. Oh Fran I'm so excited for you! Congratulations to you and your hubby - what an exciting chapter in your lives!

    Also, Baby All Gone was a favorite of mine as well until I found the truth. So then when my younger sister started loving it I wasted no time and burst her bubble immediately. Sure it was mean, but I didn't want her to face the same disappointment I did! (My Mom wasn't thrilled)

  7. So exciting! Congratulations to you and your husband. It sounds like you will have a lot of hilarious observations about pregnancy and parenthood--can't wait to read and follow along.

  8. fantastic :) congratulations you two!

  9. I had to do a mental happy-dance when I read this. I'm so happy for you and Bryan!!

  10. Congratulations! so happy 4 your little blessing =)

  11. Is it weird if I say that I've been waiting for this post for a while now? Haha. That is awesome news! Definitely doing a little happy-victory dance, which is an awesome variety of Rebekah's happy dance ;) Congratulations to you and Bryan!

  12. Congratulations!!!! What a blessing.

  13. I had to finally leave you a comment after reading your blog on a regular basis for close to two years to just say CONGRATULATIONS ! This is such great news ! I wish you all the happiness in the world !

  14. I just wanted to say congratulations! I've been reading your blog for a few months and I love it so much. I think you will be a great mom. No one really knows what to expect beforehand (even if they think they do). I have two young kiddos and I love being a mom. You'll figure it out. I'm so happy you get to experience this adventure!

  15. SO excited for you. I'm glad you are no longer an empty uterus with legs.

    But the most important thing I wanted to tell you about this post is that I thought the first line said you used to love to play with Baby Al Gore.

  16. Please forgive me for all the catching up I've been doing on here and IG! I just saw a few posts about being pregnant and wanted to make sure it was factual before I congratulated you! I'm so happy for you and your hubs! And guess what? I am pregnant, too - also due in May! What are the crazy chances? I wish you the best of luck and congrats being past the first trimester:) and while you might not see yourself as overtly maternal, you are overtly fabulous. Congrats, Fran!

  17. i absolutely love your writing. please tell me (because i noticed that you haven't written since october) that there is more to come?


Don't go chasing waterfalls. Please - stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to.

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