The End of an Era


Hold on to your butts, this is a long one.

A week ago, I walked into the lounge at LaGuardia and turned in my crew badge and my manual. I shook hands with the supervisors, and effusively thanked them one last time for my best adventure so far.

I walked out of the small office into the room swarming with other flight attendants, like I had so many times before. This time, I was no longer one of them. I marveled at how unfamiliar it was to now be a passenger in the airport instead of an employee.

On my last commuting flight home, I let myself cry a couple of big, slow tears. Two was all I needed. That was good enough for me. I smiled at the marshmallow clouds that have been my office for two years, and I said thank you to God for letting do something so special.

My decision was not impulsive -- it's been something Bryan and I have been praying about for some time. It's something I've sought wisdom about from people I love and trust. It has been a really difficult choice. I've never had a job that I was even remotely sad to leave, and this one had so much of me wrapped up in it. My job isn't who I am, though. It would be a dangerous place to dwell too long if I were to begin to think so, and sometimes it was easy to do since it consumed so much of us.

I've always known I wasn't a lifer. I knew that eventually we'd have small humans to raise and that part of what I've always wanted is to be home with them (side note: I am not pregnant). I know a lot of people that make it work. Some are okay with being gone half the month, and find vitality in it. For us personally, it has not been sustainable. We still wanted to travel and see the world, but decided we'd do it more conventionally. I am relieved. So, so relieved to be home for good.

My job is all Bryan and I have known in our relationship. The first time he called me, I was on a layover in Los Angeles having frozen yogurt with one of my friends from training. The first time we ever met was at the airport. He picked me up at arrivals and we didn't know whether to shake hands or hug. He picked me up after trips. He dropped me off before I had to commute. He flew to Austin to be with me so I didn't have to be alone on Christmas. He is patient, sweet, and supportive. I would choose him every time.

On Tuesday of last week, he picked me up from the airport one last time. He had flowers wrapped in paper, and a vase to keep them fresh, because that is so Bryan. He wrote me a letter, and took me out for sushi and Gatsby. It felt like the best welcome home, and gave me such peace.

I've met amazing people, seen a lot of places, and made lifelong friends. I started this blog. I hope you'll stick with me as the direction changes and our conversations are a little bit different.

Being a flight attendant made the world smaller to me in the best way. By the cultures I experienced through my co-workers, passengers, and places I'd never been, my heart expanded in ways I didn't know possible. I'm a very different person than I was two years ago. There are some seasons of our lives that seem to particularly shape us, and this has been one of my greatest to date. I started out so afraid of everything, and somewhere in the process the world became less intimidating and I think the heels made me walk a little taller.

We're going to live life in a new way now. This won't be the only post on the matter. I hope to share more details later, but for now it feels good to just let it all be known. God has been so gracious and providential in presenting new opportunities for me professionally, and I hope to share details on that soon.

In the mean time, I updated my Travel page and I hope you'll enjoy it. I am really proud of this chapter of my life. It makes me cry joy tears.

You're gems. Thanks for being a part of this with me.