Luna Miel


We are not beach people.

Bryan lived as a mountain man in Colorado for a year.

My skin is scorch-prone and I love wearing a lot of layers.

When I saw the photos from my friend Hannah's honeymoon in Banff, I was kind of ready to call our travel agent and say we decided to go to Canada instead. (Seriously, why aren't more people going to Canada?)

We are excited for a lot of mountain excursions one day. When it came to the honeymoon, we wanted to go to an all-inclusive, and pretty much do nothing. After planning a wedding, it sounded so appealing to have a week where the toughest decision is whether the day is spent by the pool or the ocean.

So, we went to Jamaica!

Obviously, we had some concerns. Like how if I am in the sun for too long or the sunscreen is not applied correctly, I have to consume inordinate amounts of Benadryl and Bryan would essentially be vacationing alone.

We flew standby both ways. We are risk takers! Adventurers! If the weather had been bad, we'd have been enjoying the tropical scenery of the Atlanta airport, but thankfully all went well and we saved some dollars. 

Some things I learned about honeymoons:
  • The first night you basically sleep like Rip Van Winkle. Because you haven't slept in a week. It's glorious.
  • If you're not a party animal, it's perfectly fine to eat an early dinner and watch My Sister's Keeper. 
  • You may think you like reggae, but you could be wrong. 
  • Any drink called a 'hummingbird,' or 'purple rain' is a great idea.
  • When snorkeling, be sure to admire the jellyfish, but note that swimming over top of them might not be a great plan.
  • If there are cheesy games going on at the big pool, run away as fast as you can because they will call you out and force you to play even though you only want to sit on your chair and read Little Women like an old, old lady. 

On one of our last days, we were by the beach and we saw a man and woman pointing to something in the ocean. The girl was splashing and causing a commotion and we realized it was a starfish. I have this bizarre compulsion to hold pretty much any live creature that will not cause significant pain or damage to my body. I did not mind my own business, and rushed to the water to marvel at a potential new friend. I had left my phone in the room, and begged Bryan to run and grab it so we could be photographed together. 

Our room wasn't that close to where we were, and Bryan took longer than I anticipated. I later learned it was because he had cut his foot on a stone or something and basically limped and trailed blood all the way back to our room in order to retrieve my phone. While he was gone, I collected about fifteen hermit crabs and we had a meeting to discuss the goings on in the crustacean world. I felt like a supreme jerk when Bryan limped back into the ocean. He's really so nice.

I don't know what that goop hanging off of it is. It reminded me of THE SMOOZE (IF YOU'VE SEEN THAT MOVIE, WE ARE NOW BEST FRIENDS), and it smelled like dog. It certainly did not deter me.

Do you like my turban wrap? It's actually my dress. I managed to burn my scalp. Only in the front, right above my hairline. It's a gift. I managed to contract a sunburn in the shape of a headband. One time I only put sunscreen on the top portion of my face, and my entire chin and jaw burned and it looked like I had a kool-aid beard.

So, bottom line: honeymoons are a great idea. Reggae versions of vintage Celine Dion songs are not.