Where Have All the Cowboys Gone

8.01.2012

I don't like ruffling feathers. I like being a buffer. I like diffusing tension. I like being a peacemaker. 

But I just can't shake this one. I just feel too sad not to share my heart on the matter.

I've always cared to know what the bestselling books are. Thanks to the abundance of airport bookstores, and their patrons (my passengers), I have an endless list of items I need to borrow from the library.

But my heart sinks every time I see a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey.

And it. is. everywhere.

Girls in high school. Older women. Even men sit intently for the duration of the flight and read it. Some try to be discreet, some don't care who sees it.

Side note: I read the first Twilight book, and the first several chapters of Fifty Shades before the vomit started creeping up my throat. But before anyone jumps in with claws ready to slash my flesh in defense of Edward or Christian and how I don't actually know what it's like since I haven't read both series in their entirety - let's be real. They won't be winning the Pulitzer any time soon. And I have access to the internet. And Wikipedia. And I am just a person. No one needs to turn into a velociraptor over my opinion.

E.L. James was inspired to write the trilogy from the vampire phenomena that is rampant amongst our culture in film and television. 

It makes sense - as Bella Swan and Anastasia Steele are surprisingly similar to each other. 

Both characters are described as seeing themselves as ordinary - maybe even clumsy. They're not as beautiful as their friends. But the men (beautiful, wealthy, desired by many) are overtaken and obsessed with them. They're consumed with possessing them. It's a twisted portrayal of monogamy. No one else can have her. But they won't just willingly commit to her, either. It's more complicated than that. It's darker. It's blah, blah, blah.

Neither are good men. But they are both great examples of what you might see on To Catch a Predator.


When I've asked people what they like about it, they describe it as addicting. They claim that it's harmless. 

It is not harmless

We've gone from being offended by the damsel in distress to admiring the heroine, and now are in a strange new territory of horribly written 'literature' that's spawning endless franchises about women being sexually dominated and that it's just a cool thing. That confuses me, because after fighting so long to be viewed as equal, it's suddenly somehow 'freeing' to love a book about a man that sexually and physically dominates a woman.

Does that seem completely jacked up to anyone else?

I understand that every woman enjoys a great love story. But It's that obsession and possession have overpowered true integrity and masculinity. It's that emotional and physical bondage is being written and people are eating it up and believing that it is synonymous with love. It's that we're continually glamorizing sexual abuse and domestic violence and allowed it to masquerade as dangerous and sexy.

If one day I have daughters, it makes my stomach turn to think they would ever know about Christian Grey. 

I want them to know about Atticus Finch!

I want them to know about gentleness, and integrity! And real, actual love - the kind God just pours on us in buckets.

I want them to treasure and value what is truly good. 

I just want women to know and understand that they can all do much better than Christian Grey.


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