Hey Pretty Baby With The High Heels On

4.06.2012

In elementary school, I only wore dresses. Do you remember wearing pants and the zipper part of your pants folds when you're seated? And the fold makes a bulge? So, yeah. I REFUSED to wear pants because I was convinced it made me look like I had boy parts.

Eventually I went through the leggings phase, and then made my way into recognizing that I could be feminine and wear pants. It just took some time.

Though it is not entirely surprising to me that I chose a job in which I get to wear a dress to work all the time.

It is a requirement of my job to look a certain way. To represent a brand. 

Basically, they just don't want me to show up for work looking like Helena Bonham Carter. (Though, let it be known, I am a firm believer in the power of giant Bellatrix Lestrange-type hair. But I digress).

One of sub categories of looking presentable is, wearing high heels.

Perhaps it's an effort to perpetuate the idea that flight attendants walking collectively through the concourse should always look like that scene in Catch Me If You Can.

Just let it be known that I would be easy to catch. Because I still cannot walk very quickly in them. My formative years of dress up in tiny bejeweled plastic heels did not adequately prepare me for this profession.  

For instance, I bought stilettos once to go with a bridesmaid dress. One thing I keep learning is that I have no concept of height, and this is only perpetuated when buying shoes online. The day I received them, I actually read articles and watched YouTube videos on how to walk in them.

When I went downstairs to practice, my stepdad said, "Why are you walking like a praying mantis?"

I rest my case.

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25 comments:

  1. While I did wear pants growing up, I remember poking that little bulge down because I thought the same thing!!
    I'm also not meant to wear heels- I clod around in them, inevitably sounding like a chariot of horses is coming when I'm in a nice building with hard floors (i.e., the only time I'm ever in heels). The ones you've got pictures are gorgeous, though!!

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    1. I have to stop myself from sounding like a horse when I wear them, too. Oh, the embarrassment.

      Those shoes are pretty...I'm sure they were thousands more than I could afford!

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  2. gurl. i am the same way...i try to make it look so smooth...but i know everyone around me see through my facade. but in europe..i am convinced they are born walking in heels..

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    1. We should walk in heels together and see what happens - are you back now? Can you post eight million photos for me to see, please?

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  3. Princess,what size are your feet? If you can't rock those heels, your Deets sure can. LOL. I love you so much.

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    1. Deeets! Those are someone else's shoes. Found them on Pinterest (which, are you on Pinterest, yet? Because YOU NEED TO BE. You would love it). I love you!

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  4. Here is my heel advice...2 1/2 inch heels are PERFECT! They are just enough height to lift your bum and elongate your legs while allowing you to walk easily. Also, if the shoe has some platform to the front part of the shoe you can walk easier than without. All in all, wedges are the best! Or there is always a chunky heel...I pray those come back in style if only for the comfort =)

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    1. You're so right - anything taller than that just makes me super awkward looking. And the pointed toe! Always helps. I am with you on the wedges. They are fool-proof and always look cute. I keep seeing the chunky heel. Just as long as those heeled gym shoe things never come back in style. Do you remember those?

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  5. Cracking up laughing that you researched walking in heels! You're awesome.

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    1. My dependency on Google is alarming at times. Hahaha thank you for appreciating the NERDfest that I am.

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  6. I may have literally laughed out loud in response to that finally sentence. My advice get good well made heels and you can learn to walk in them. That being said I still don't get how some people wear heels all day long!

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    1. For real. I'm in the research phase. Just asking everyone I fly with what shoes they wear and if they are comfortable or not. All day heels is no bueno, but I can switch to flats once I'm on the plane.

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  7. I always enjoy the idea of wearing high heels more than actually wearing them. I see them in stores and they look so fancy and cool and then I try them on and wobble around like I'm taking my first steps on a different planet. But now that I know there are youtube tutorials for this, I may have to take advantage.

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    1. Haha, yes! In theory, they're great. But in actuality, I look like a fresh baby giraffe standing for the first time.

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  8. I cannot walk in high heels either! In fact, after a pretty nasty tumble in a pair of sky high heels in December I have yet to put another pair on my feet.

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    1. That is what I am so afraid of! Ahhhh! Was it around a lot of people, and WERE YOU INJURED? Not worth it. Ballet flats FOR LIFE.

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  9. I am terrible at walking in heels. I feel like I clomp around and make more noise than there needs to be.
    And I am sure I look like a praying mantis as well.
    Shouldn't they offer classes for this?

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    1. There are YouTube videos! But, I just don't think it's everyone's gift. Unfortunately it's not mine!

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  10. Just found your blog on the Freckled Italian. Loving it already lady! So excited to read some more. Following you now :)
    Lauren @ lemon trees and bumble bees

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    1. Hip hip hooraaay! I am so glad you found me :) I'll try to keep things entertaining and bring back some good Irish stories.

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  11. This post convinced me to read/follow your blog and that we need to be friends. Those STUPID pants bulges are the reason I still, at 22-for-two-more-weeks, wear leggings and dresses most days.

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    1. YES! YOU UNDERSTAND! IT'S STUPID AND UNNATURAL!

      I still favor dresses, too - but I think I finally found a place in my life when I don't think about it anymore. But I'll always remember.

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  12. I stalked your blog (through Freckled Italian) and reading up there, apparently so did everyone else. I feel less cool but that's okay. The picture of these shoes made me pee a little so I figured that means something for the future of our impending relationship. In about 0.23839743 seconds I'm going to be a new follower and I'm sure you're dying to know why! First of all, I love the way you write. And second of all, befriending a stewardess can only increase my chances of survival should a plane I'm on ever go down.

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    1. You are just as cool. No cool points lost! I'm just glad you fouuund meeee!
      In 0.23839743 seconds I will say thank you.
      THANK YOU for followin' me.
      I will make sure you get off the plane when we crash.
      Promise.

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