Hey Pretty Baby With The High Heels On

4.06.2012

In elementary school, I only wore dresses. Do you remember wearing pants and the zipper part of your pants folds when you're seated? And the fold makes a bulge? So, yeah. I REFUSED to wear pants because I was convinced it made me look like I had boy parts.

Eventually I went through the leggings phase, and then made my way into recognizing that I could be feminine and wear pants. It just took some time.

Though it is not entirely surprising to me that I chose a job in which I get to wear a dress to work all the time.

It is a requirement of my job to look a certain way. To represent a brand. 

Basically, they just don't want me to show up for work looking like Helena Bonham Carter. (Though, let it be known, I am a firm believer in the power of giant Bellatrix Lestrange-type hair. But I digress).

One of sub categories of looking presentable is, wearing high heels.

Perhaps it's an effort to perpetuate the idea that flight attendants walking collectively through the concourse should always look like that scene in Catch Me If You Can.

Just let it be known that I would be easy to catch. Because I still cannot walk very quickly in them. My formative years of dress up in tiny bejeweled plastic heels did not adequately prepare me for this profession.  

For instance, I bought stilettos once to go with a bridesmaid dress. One thing I keep learning is that I have no concept of height, and this is only perpetuated when buying shoes online. The day I received them, I actually read articles and watched YouTube videos on how to walk in them.

When I went downstairs to practice, my stepdad said, "Why are you walking like a praying mantis?"

I rest my case.

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