Travel Advisory

1.30.2012

Has anyone else noticed how horribly stereotypical  flight attendants are portrayed in television and film? 


We are either shamelessly promiscuous, annoyingly close talkers that speak an inch from passengers' faces, or ready at any moment to shove a taser into someone's neck. (Not to mention, Christina Ricci's character on Pan Am stabbed a first class passenger for getting fresh - and they were able to subdue him by offering free cocktails).

I'm just trying to make a living like everyone else.

I'm just trying not to walk through the terminal with my dress tucked into my pantyhose.

I'm just trying not to fall down and end up on YouTube.


Of course I can get you a blanket.


That being said, I am fully confident we can really enjoy our time together up in our flying tube in the sky. 


We CAN live together in perfect harmony. 


If you've ever experienced a crotchety stewardess, I would like to apologize on behalf of us all. In most instances, I believe the attitude is uncalled for. But for posterity's sake, here are some tips to ensure that your flight attendant does not experience an internal rage attack, and that YOU have an enjoyable flight:



  • If you begin to feel as if you are about to share the contents of your stomach with the rest of the cabin, notify one of us and we will provide you with a garbage bag. Sure, you have a 'sick bag' in your seat pocket for circumstances such as these - but I feel the size of those bags are best suited for people that are able to vomit in only two tablespoon quantities. If you are not one of those people, PLEASE JUST ASK FOR A GARBAGE BAG. 

  • Airports, conveniently enough, have little shops where people can purchase food with currency. They are typically called restaurants. Please keep this in mind before you board the plane and ask for ten bags of peanuts in hopes of making it a sustainable meal. Unfortunately, we do not have the capability of running a Seven Eleven from our galleys.

Are you sure you turned that phone off? It looks like you just put it to sleep. But what do I know? I've never seen a cell phone before.


  • Maybe you've experienced the frustration of having to check a bag at the last minute. Please know that it's just as disheartening for us to have to do it. This means we ran out of space in the overhead bins. This could also mean that someone decided to take up an entire bin with their coat or garment bag. Just remember that when you store your stuff. Make room for everyone. Don't be the guy that thinks he has the plane to himself. That guy is a total butthead.


  • One in every five million passengers I come in contact with bring the flight attendants treats. As in, went out of their way to show appreciation by bringing us brownies or candies. Just to be nice. For no reason at all. I don't even check them for poison, I just eat them. You will earn approximately ten million passenger points by this small gesture. I might even bring you a drink.


  • Warm and snotty tissues. Delicious. Please locate the trash receptacles nearest you, keeping in mind they may be behind you.

It would be my honor to take that snotty tissue from you.


  • Do not book a tight connection. I repeat. Do not book. A tight connection. Give yourself at least an hour and a half in between your connections. For your sanity, and your blood pressure. Make sure you are accounting for the amount of time it takes to deplane, and how big your connecting airport is. There is nothing more stressful than realizing you have to run off the plane and go to the farthest terminal. Think of all the factors going in to your flight - mechanical issues, weather, air traffic, medical emergencies. The possibilities are endless. Like Scar said, be prepared.

When all is said and done - we are getting paid to take care of you. If that means being a waitress, garbage woman, nurse, entertainer (um, not in a gross way), or therapist, I'll help in whatever way I can. 


I understand people pay a lot of money to fly. 

I just also know your mother didn't raise you to act a fool. Now let's hug. 

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18 comments:

  1. true story. I was walking through the Detroit airport in my red dress. Thinking I was looking all fly. Until I felt a draft. That draft would be where my dress was hung in my pantyhose. I turned around just in time to see someone taking a picture. True Story. I am on the interest somewhere. And people are laughing.

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    1. I wish you had done this right after my escalator incident. It would have been the icing on the Pittsburgh cake. We need to stalk Mark and go back.

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  2. Ooo. I didn't know that I should be bringing snacks for my flight attendants, but I will do so in the future. Your faces are the best.

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    1. I threw that in their for good measure - because I am completely dumbfounded when it happens, and it's a morale booster FOR SURE. I was sad about having to work on Thanksgiving and a passenger gave us Starbucks gift cards and a little thank you note. It was so sweet.

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  3. gosh i love you. write a book,i'll read it.

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    1. hahaha I read this and said to Bryan, "I want to be best friends with Angie! I have to go right now."

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  4. I LOVE this post!!!

    Do you have any advice for a not-so-brave passenger? The worst is when it gets really turbulent and the pilot says, "Flight attendants, take your seats" and has nothing else to say.... it freaks me out. I used to be totally ok with flying and slept most of the time, but now it's like every bump gives me a heart attack.

    Anyway... thanks for making our lives so much easier by ALL you do to serve us in the sky!

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    1. Oh, girl! I should totally do a post for fearful fliers.

      I'll be honest, turbulence freaked me out before this job. Even when I was flying down for training before I started, I felt like I was going to die. But I am so used to it now and I almost enjoy it sometimes (it's sick, I know).

      It sounds crazy, but I think it almost helps me that I walk around when it's happening. When you're a passenger, you just feel so helpless and like at any moment, the plane will just drop from the sky. But it won't. Promise :)

      This is a good question. I'mma have to write something about it.

      And your blog is beautiful! Welcome over here!

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  5. Okay. Truly DON'T wnat to hug a passenter (but will give you a heartfelt teeny fingertip-handshake for writing this so perfectly!) HOWEVER, I WILL (always) give a free drink to someone who has been kind enough to bring me a treat. And, if they don't drink, a headset is on the way!

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    1. I've been thinking about writing you a "Reflection of a One Year Old Baby Flight Attendant" for you - in response to all of the blemails that brought me to where I am today.

      Good call on the headsets.

      I get really generous with the booze. It makes me come off as very giving, when really it costs me nothing. But hey, it makes people nicer and I'm sure they'll come back after that - right?

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  6. Haha this is so great. I've been a waitress for over 9 years so I've thought about writing a post like this...sometimes people really just need to know the truth :)

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    1. I would like to write a book as an expose of the way we treat the people that serve us. Oh, the entitlement! It drives me nuts. But it's humbling and a sweet reminder to notice people and be a blessing to them instead of a nuisance. I can't even imagine what stories you have. Especially with having such a reliance on tips and people can be such cheap jerks sometimes!

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  7. New Follower! Love hearing your perspective as a flight attendant :) Over the past few years I've started flying more and more (am currently going to school in Sweden) and have definitely appreciated those men and women who are constantly attending to all of us cranky transatlantic passengers. I had never thought to bring them gifts but that is a fantastic idea!

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    1. Hey, girl! Sorry for the delayed response, I just got home from a trip.

      I am so happy you made your way over here.

      I haven't been to Sweden yet, but it's definitely on my list. School in Sweden? That's so neat.

      In the few times that people have brought us anything, it's just so appreciated. I think I should do it more for the other people that serve us, you know?

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  8. Hi! I just discovered your blog today. Can we be friends?! You're hysterical. I used to work in customer service and I feel like this post could easily be used for that as well minus the puke bag plus a little "asking for the manager doesn't mean you'll get one".
    Consider yourself followed :)

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    1. Well hellooo, boo! I am so glad you found this tiny land of the interwebs that I call mine own.

      I am pretty sure anyone that has worked in customer service could write a book.

      Oh, the 'asking for a manager' card. RIDICULOUS.

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